1. |
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I wish I could be positive without it having to be fake or forced
My cynicism permeates me, I’ve given up civil discourse
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
I’m losing my goddamn mind What is up with this timeline
Half a million people dead from what is obviously a liberal hoax
I don’t wanna wear a mask, it depletes my oxygen, it’ll make me choke
Well alright if you twist my arm, I’ll wear it over my mouth but NOT my nose
Get that microchip vaccine? Buddy, That’s a fucking joke
Orange man gone, hooray horray! The center-right have come to save the day!
We can go right back to sleep, we’ve got the most diverse war machine!
Nevermind about the checks or bombs, the promises reneged upon
The cages- oops, I mean “facilities” (nevermind about all these)
Blue MAGA’s here to serve you brunch but otherwise our hands are tied
There’s really nothing left to do until the midterms when we’ll lose
Because that is how we raise our funds, through false opposition
The electoral equivalent of a gaffed coin
I wish I could be positive that things will get better than they have been
There’s rot in our society and at this rate we’ll always be unclean God damn
Is it to late to be saved? I have never had less faith
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2. |
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I feel everything I’ve ever felt all at once
All the time, where is my mind?
Everything that I regret, it passes by
Moments in time, I hit myself with this
Bludgeoning is comforting, familiar and safe
Reminds me not to make mistakes
My private penance waits for me, self indulgence
Castigation: The Simulation
The things I’ve said and done are locked in perpetuity
The one person I can’t forgive is me
This guilt i feel won’t pay anyone back for what I gave
Psychic debt bankrupts you just the same
Dissociation, hallucination, self-medication, recalibration
All my dots are disconnected I feel totally fine
At least until these chemicals are out of my mind
And then I’m back again I’m there I’m then I’m everywhere
I’ve harmed someone through poor decision
I try and keep all of this hate inside
I’m a rusty trash receptacle conceding to time
Remember me to one who’s from my past
Who has reaped me from their life and hasn’t ever looked back
All of these scenes from my life torment me unendingly
The price I pay for having been myself
Imperfect record skipping back and forth through time and space
False knight with infinite windmills to face
I built this prison in my mind
I’m serving life behind my eyes
Maybe if i figure out how to unring these bells
I can learn how not to hate myself
Cycled through my grievances, one by one
Cataloged by catastrophics, and I just can’t give them up
Cause I’ll never be good enough for the life I wanted
Buried in self condolence, swallowed by disappointment
Hanging onto my regrets, focused on all of my negatives
And I wonder: Is this all we’re meant to be?
The past, a place so tempting for my mind to want to be
I wish i could stop wishing, transcend this misery
But if i put this down, If i let all this shit go
What kind of person would I be?
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3. |
They Bartholomule
02:07
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Darkness at the edge of my vision
Portents I won’t prevent
It feels like so long since I last took a breath
On and on and on
It’s like this everyday
Societal deficit of common sense and decency
Ideological war is here to stay
We’re staring out the window
The window’s facing a wall
And happiness is chemical
If ya don’t got nothing nice to say
Then don’t say nothing at all
We wouldn’t want this Empire to fall
Marionettists’ strings seem to be attached to everything
We’ve surrounded ourselves in this web, it’s fucking sickening
United we’d stand, but together we’ll fall down
Can’t interact without ripping each other’s throats out
We behave this way because we’ve been trained
Land of the free!? Home of the brave!?
Freedom to keep dreaming capitalist America’s dreams
Brave enough to spend a little extra this week
We drown our misery in any way that we can
Holding knives to each other’s throats waiting for imperial command
Thickening quickening sinking in
We are under their control
Have we all sold our souls?
Nightmare hellscape no escape
When did this become normal?
Have we all sold our souls?
No heaven, no hell, no gods above, just devils
We are so easily bemused
I can’t wait to see how we lose
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4. |
Soldier On
01:41
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They’re gonna take your rights away
They’re gonna take your life away
They’ll weigh you down and mask your face
You should reach up into the sky
If you’re released then you can fly
You’ll be shot down and kept in place
How much more can we take
I’m crying and I don’t know why
I’m fine
You’ll be equal just like me
Some more equal than can be
An ugly equal family
These problems won’t just go away
No matter how many you slay
How many hurt before you see
Radio designed to stop hate
I’m crying and I don’t know why
They’ll hold us down
So they won’t drown
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5. |
King Kong
04:22
|
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Well I wasn’t born to work no shit job from 9 to 5
Just to be able to afford to stay alive
More and more I feel like everyday’s the goddamn same
When did I wake up and realize my life is a losing game
Growing up is a strange dichotomy
Idealism in a failing economy
Always caught up in fear and doubt
The worst part of growing up is showing up
Beyond that it’s a never ending story of
Dying from the inside out
They’re drowning in oil
They’re drowning in cash
While I’m drowning myself in ass
I’m drowning in whisky
I’m drowning in blunt
Well I’m drowning myself, so what?
Adulthood is a strange dichotomy
Alcohol addiction and the person that I want to be
Asking “Am I down for the count?”
The hardest part of living it up is giving it up
Beyond that it’s a never ending story of
Dying from the inside out
I can’t sit down, I can’t stand up
Bartender please refill my cup
Hey Mr. Cosgrove, put me in
For karaoke, Don’t Stop Believing
I fucked it up again
I lost another friend
I need another drink
I fucked it up again
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6. |
Pieces Over Time
02:17
|
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I may not be the men I’ve been
I’m still responsible for them
All of the hatred and the spite
I’ve let myself let out ain’t right
And there’s no way to put it back
Small kindnesses are nice and cute
But won’t erase the poison spewed
From monsters I couldn’t subdue
I speak as though I rose above
Transcended muck and have become
A better person than I am
However bad or good I feel
It won’t change those who have had to deal
With my toxic proximity
Am I the man I want to be?
The time has long passed for accountability
I keep on doing shitty things
For all the consequence they bring
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
I’m a certain someone in my head
But he won’t matter when I’m dead
To the world at large he’ll never be
Because the man I am inside
Means shit all when I still decide
To fuck up someone else’s day
To believe that I can redeem
Past actions is a fever dream
One I’ll no longer entertain
What have I become?
What do I do now?
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7. |
ORBL
03:18
|
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Just heard the news today oh boy
Three thousand dead and thousands more to blame
But you can’t always trust the news
It’s just a mindless fishing game
Where the captain owns a mansion
And the skipper drives a Porsche
And at night they play canasta
And they think of what’s gone wrong
As they silently float
There once was a chance
When the sun rose up
To fly over the sea
Where Eden’s waiting for me
The shoreline opens its eyes
With brilliant rays of light
It warms the flesh and soul
And the cycle begins again
Back to where we began
As if a moth to the light
He was drawn to the night
Where substance makes him numb
The captain takes a pail
As the skipper takes his fill
As we’re waiting out the storm
And the skipper thinks that life
Is too short for all this strife
As he writes his portfolio
And the captain takes a stand
As he has nothing to lose
Only wearing his own shoes
And he says all engines on
And all phasers set to stun
At the edge of the world
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8. |
Self Made
03:34
|
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Everyone I know has some reason to hate themselves
A reason to debase themselves
A reason not to get out of bed
But we do
Even though sometimes we wish we were dead
And I know, I know we all have thoughts of suicide
And I know, I know we all keep choosing to survive
Live or die, give up or try
Decisions that no one is able to make except for you
The choices we’ve made survive us
We mustn’t forget what we’ll leave behind us
There is no simple way to stop the sadness
We all just teeter on the edge of madness
Looking for different ways to subvert pain
Until we’re able to feel joy again
But when happiness takes too long to come
Sinking feeling despair growing just too strong
The past a monster that you can’t outrace
Mirror’s reflection shows a stranger’s face
I never wanted to feel this way again
Never wanted to disappoint my friends
I want to thrive, not just survive
But I have sure taken my time
Realizing bad decisions'
Consequences always building
By the time you realize you won’t change
You’ve become everything you hate
The choices we make define us
We mustn’t forget that the past is behind us
I don’t really want to die
I want to WANT to be alive
I want to feel the same way
I used to feel every day
So much potential, so much road ahead of me
But then I tripped, fell down, and got back up again
Fell down and got back up again
Tripped, fell down, and got back up again
Fell down and got back up again
Fell down, stayed down
Watched everyone pass as I laid on the ground
And now I’ve been here for so long
The choices we make confine us
The passage of time is what resigns us
If life is a game I feel I’ve already lost
But nothing is gained if I give the board a toss
There are plenty of reasons to play other than win
At least that’s what I’m selling myself
|
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9. |
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So many people not like me
Hold us down
Everything in front of me
Holds us down
Signs of impropriety
Hold us down
So many tired and weak to breathe
Hold us down
Invisible hand that makes a fist
Circumstance involuntary
Born to eat shit
Guilty of no instinct for survival
A tragedy we’ve seen too many times
Alone and trying not to freeze
10 years old in 10 degrees
Sentenced to death for her crimes
So many people not like me
To hold down
Virtuous society
To hold down
The bell curve says to stay in line
To hold down
Conquering is not a crime
To hold down
Everything has a place and this one’s mine
Corner office, vassal steadfast, feudal hive mind
Privileged with means at his arrival
A strategy we’ve seen too many times
CEO at 22
“If I can do it, so can you!
It’s my turn so get in line!”
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10. |
Karate Chunk
04:43
|
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Hold the line, we’re out of time, the battle’s wake
Center fades, the poles reversing for lifetimes
Separate ancient fabric soaked in lye
Hypocrites salt the earth with a sigh
Brother can you spare a “will to power” paradigm
Can we make peace with our crimes
Short memories will whine and flail and pendulums will sway
Will our mistakes seal our fate
It’s time for falling down, briefcase brown, arms stretched high
Children make the piles of men reach the sky
Separate deafening, Lord of Flies
Delicate turns of phrase will give rise
Purity never free, sing with me
Anymore anymore so we will never get
Sing with me so we will never get
One more chance
Discussion, hellfire, depression, backpedal
Repression, safety, systemic recompense
Weapons, banners, ballistics, hospitals
Tradition tentpoles, Depression manifest
This is not our best
Just one more chance
Hold the line, we’re out of time
Reversing for lifetimes, soaked in lye
Salt the earth with a sigh
The piles of men reach the sky
One more chance
|
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11. |
||||
Second hand’s ticking counts the many failures of mankind
Tired eyes open on another day begrudgingly
Futures bought and sold, sentenced to a lesser world
Consequence passed on, while the culprits decompose
They never cared
Historically, the poor have been a valuable resource to the rich and corrupt
Like Earth itself, society can no longer support wealth-hoarding narcissists
Firmly affixed inside a system meant to grind me down
Just comfortable enough to keep giving up moral ground
Treating politics like a weather system
Unavoidable, unstoppable outcome
Your ideology is how you see the world
So don’t tell me it’s not fucking personal
We just won’t care
Oligarchy stacking the deck every chance they get, we are not led by peers
If given no recourse, the scales will balance themselves by force
By whose hands will we bleed?
Hands up! Turn around!
Kneel down, put your face on the ground!
You will be put down if you hesitate!
It won’t be my fault, I’ll just say I was doing my job
The perks of living in this police state
I close my eyes so I won’t see
as I take the bait predictably
Will I ever bite the hand that feeds
while the other steals from those in need
We close our eyes so we won’t see
as we take the bait predictably
We will never bite the hand that feeds
while a million others bleed
If we don’t try, we all die
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12. |
||||
This can’t be happening
We all went through this hellish jobscape
Still they have our blinders on
We’re at each other’s throats
This will keep happening
As long as we keep punching down
Stop acting like a fucking clown
Shilling for that which you won’t become
How many bad weeks can you persevere?
Now tell me how many until you’re rich?
And if you get your chance
At untold wealth tell us how many times
Someone else had to lose what’s theirs
So you could have some more
You won’t have earned your millions
Your new mantle: Robber Baron
Your fiscal needs long since removed
But you continue to consume
How much do you need?
How much is enough?
Sating your greed you piece of shit
We keep waiting for them to do the better things
To use the wealth they have, to fix what they’ve broken
This ain’t hyperbole; we’re on a dying rock
I fear it’s too late, that we’ve waited too long
Could I be happy, could I be free
Escape this cage I built for me
This self made prison in my mind
Constructed pieces over time
Just one more chance for blood and sweat
My wasted years and my regrets
I’ve turned this cage into a home
I’ll have that corner office yet
I begged the warden set us free
But all the prisoners were me
A strange dichotomy of wrongs
Would they be fit to soldier on
False opposition in my mind
I was the warden the whole time
“But your futures!”
The Robber Baron screamed
I burned it down to set me free
Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim.
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