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Darkness at the edge of my vision
Portents I won’t prevent
It feels like so long since I last took a breath
On and on and on
It’s like this everyday
Societal deficit of common sense and decency
Ideological war is here to stay
We’re staring out the window
The window’s facing a wall
And happiness is chemical
If ya don’t got nothing nice to say
Then don’t say nothing at all
We wouldn’t want this Empire to fall
Marionettists’ strings seem to be attached to everything
We’ve surrounded ourselves in this web, it’s fucking sickening
United we’d stand, but together we’ll fall down
Can’t interact without ripping each other’s throats out
We behave this way because we’ve been trained
Land of the free!? Home of the brave!?
Freedom to keep dreaming capitalist America’s dreams
Brave enough to spend a little extra this week
We drown our misery in any way that we can
Holding knives to each other’s throats waiting for imperial command
Thickening quickening sinking in
We are under their control
Have we all sold our souls?
Nightmare hellscape no escape
When did this become normal?
Have we all sold our souls?
No heaven, no hell, no gods above, just devils
We are so easily bemused
I can’t wait to see how we lose
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I feel everything I’ve ever felt all at once, all the time Where is my mind?
Everything that I regret, it passes by Moments in time, I hit myself with this
bludgeoning is comforting, familiar and safe Reminds me not to make mistakes
My private penance waits for me, self indulgence Castigation: The Simulation
The things I’ve said and done are locked in perpetuity
The one person I can’t forgive is me
This guilt i feel won’t pay anyone back for what I gave
Psychic debt bankrupts you just the same
Dissociation, hallucination, self-medication, recalibration
All my dots are disconnected I feel totally fine
At least until these chemicals are out of my mind
And then I’m back again I’m there I’m then I’m everywhere
I’ve harmed someone through poor decision
I try and keep all of this hate inside
I’m a rusty trash receptacle conceding to time
Remember me to one who’s from my past
Who has reaped me from their life and hasn’t ever looked back
All of these scenes from my life torment me unendingly
The price I pay for having been myself
Imperfect record skipping back and forth through time and space
False knight with infinite windmills to face
I built this prison in my mind
I’m serving life behind my eyes
Maybe if i figure out how to unring these bells
I can learn how not to hate myself
Cycled through my grievances, one by one
Cataloged by catastrophics, and I just can’t give them up
Cause I’ll never be good enough for the life I wanted
Buried in self condolence, swallowed by disappointment
Hanging onto my regrets, focused on all of my negatives
And I wonder: Is this all we’re meant to be?
The past, a place so tempting for my mind to want to be
I wish i could stop wishing, transcend this misery
But if i put this down, If i let all this shit go
What kind of person would I be?
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