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Pieces Over Time

from An Ugly Equal Family by PWRUP

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I may not be the men I've been
I'm still responsible for them

All of the hatred and the spite
I've let myself let out ain't right
And there's no way to put it back

Small kindnesses are good and cute
But won't erase the poison spewed
From monsters I couldn't subdue

I speak as though I rose above
Transcended muck and have become
A better person than I am

However bad or good I feel
It won't change those who've had to deal
With my toxic proximity

Am I the man I want to be?
The time has long passed for accountability

I keep on doing shitty things
For all the consequence they bring
Waiting for the other shoe to drop

I'm a certain someone in my head
But he won't matter when I'm dead
To the world at large he'll never be

Because the man I am inside
Means shit all when I still decide
To fuck up someone else's day

To believe that I can redeem
Past actions is a fever dream
One I'll no longer entertain

What have I become?
What do I do now?


from An Ugly Equal Family, released December 13, 2018


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